of love and other demons (with apologies to garcia marquez)

how is it that when you feel smart and confident you are suddenly confronted with people who seem to know more than you . so your ego shrinks like the dick of a 60 year old, and you begin to doubt your intelligence and think you might probably be stupid. and suddenly you can't seem to comprehend a simple sentence, and everything you write you have second thoughts whether it's clear or not, and everytime you think you wonder whether you're stealing someone else's idea. then you get into a state of depression, you droll statements. and then you watch tv or read the newspaper and curse at the shallowness of these beautiful people. and just as quickly you begin to think that you're better than many of creatures you see on tv, and suddenly you feel smart and confident again. the claim to an identity as an intelligent well-read person is just as unstable as our sexual identities. there are no intelligent people, only intelligent performances.